User Profile Friends Calendar

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2009.10.13  00.07 Blah. What do you do when you realize that an entire relationship/friendship was a lie? But really, are you supposed to confront the person, say something to the effect of "Hey, things just don't add up, what's going on?" I understand that sometimes fibs and white lies are fine, but telling bold-faced lies about your entire life to your friends of years just doesn't make any sense. My psychology history makes me want to find some reason, blow it off as Histrionic or Borderline, or something. I just can't get why you would lie to your best friends about things that we wouldn't care about anyway if you were honest. There's the worry that if we confront her she'll shut us out of her life, but if we go behind her back and try to seek some sort of help, the result would be the same. GAH. Mood: discontent

	2009.08.06  16.51 It's been a while. Felt like posting on here, as I can't blog on GG without money. hahaha. Oh well. A summer has come and gone, and all I did was work, work, work. No vacations, nothing. But that's fine with me since I'll get my summer work bonus and therefore be able to pay for my senior year of college. Many new things have happened, but maybe I'll continue to post on this and tell all about it later. Now, I must shut off the work computer. I guess I just wanted to say that things are good. Mood: content

	2009.03.24  23.14 Last week was spring break. True story.

	2009.03.01  17.19 My computer has been dead for now...6 weeks. Bah. For whatever reason I felt like updating. Life has been fast-paced I suppose. School has been trying to take advantage of me. I got a 41 on my Neuropsych test. I wish I could be upset about this, but the fact that we drop the lowest test grade is just way too comforting to me. I've started my internship at the home for neglected, dependent, or abused girls. So far I've only gone one day, and all I really did was file. I met a couple of the girls though, and so far they seem pretty sweet. A couple of the girls have some for real attitude, but that is pretty much expected for girls in their situations. I haven't been staying updated in movies. I feel like such a slacker. My life is lacking horror films. But I think I'm going to go see Last House on the Left. It looks good, but I hate that Wes Craven would allow anyone to remake that. I am torn! I've been reading an obscene amount of comic books/graphic novels recently. It's nice to fall back on that after I get done with schoolwork. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and Watchmen are already knocked out. Next is Akira and Sin City. I am supposed to be saving money for spring break/summer housing. Right now I'm focusing on spring break, as it may be my last one. I'm really afraid that I will have to withdraw my senior year due to cost. Right now I have $235. That is not enough. And now that I am 21, it is difficult to save money. Hahahaha. Oh alcohol...you cost so much! No more drama it would seem, not really, not in my townhouse. I feel like I'm about to get myself into a whole mess of dyke-drama though. Girls who invite you to hang out supposedly with a whole group of people, pick you up alone, and then tell you as you are halfway to a club that she and her girlfriend are on a break, are confusing. Yeah. True story. This is my life as of today. It snowed a lot in Roswell today, I played in it. God hit me in the eye with snowballs. It was like God's money shot. I don't think that's appropriate, but I don't think I care.

	2008.12.12  02.21 Christmas dinner at the townhouse was/is a success. I may or may not be drunk. That probably means that I am. Weird, since I haven't really been drunk since like May. Wack. *sigh*

	2008.12.10  01.21 Life is good, now that school isn't trying to kill me. I have one more test to take tomorrow, but it's over two chapters, and I'll totally be awesome at it. I work 19 hours this week, which is pretty exciting because I'll actually get a decent paycheck for a change in two weeks. Huzzah. I should probably sleep as it is 1:30 and I have my test at 11 and I haven't studied yet. And Natty Light (the Gentelman's Beverage) has been a part of my evening. Hmmmmmm. I'll get on it I guess.

	2008.12.03  17.35 School wants me dead. That is all I have to say.

	2008.11.20  16.51 In my agricultural science lab today, I palpated a cow. Yes, I probably got elbow deep in cow butt today. Bahahaha. I was wearing a shoulder length glove though, so yeah. It felt like I was wearing a very warm blood pressure monitor. We did this in order to feel the reproductive organs of said cow. I also played with a 3 day old calf named Holly. She was the cutest thing. She kept trying to nurse on my fingers. I want to take her home with me. My school is weird. I feel like few people can see that in college they learned how to wrangle sheep and palpate cows. Ha.

	2008.11.05  00.30 Huzzah! Mood: excited

	2008.10.18  03.10 I want to be home. I want to see my family, Molly, Vickie, and Noemi more often. Once every 6 weeks is not enough. I love everyone at Berry, but I am so tired of school. I wish I could just graduate already, but I have many hours to go. I tried to think up my schedule for next semester, and I had to try hard just to get 12 hours. I'm gonna end up taking like 4 HPEs or something ridiculous like that. Neuropsychology is going to kick my ass. I suppose I'd rather take the ridiculously difficult classes next semester, rather than my spring semester of senior year. In other news, I keep feeling like there are bugs on me, but there are not. I think I remember hallucinating bugs everywhere when I was little and trying to sleep, but who knows. False memories are very tricky.

	2008.10.14  01.14 Hindsight is 20/20.

	2008.10.09  15.22 Fall break starts tomorrow. I'm ready to be home.

	2008.10.03  00.21 And...drunk. Just sayin.

	2008.09.30  23.48 Too much debauchery this weekend! Whoa too much. I'm glad I got to experience it basically sober though. It is certainly entertaining to think back on. And the best part is, it is probably going to repeat itself very soon. I've gotten through most of my big tests for a while. I am exhausted, and I blame the weekend along with the studying. This weekend is marthapalooza and shit. Woo. I get to be Rosie the Riveter for an hour Saturday night, and people shall take pictures with me as her. I guess that's what happens when you are in the women's group, you get forced into acting as historical figures and shit. My brain hurts and I need sleep.

	2008.09.26  02.26 I think my life has room for more debauchery. I need to get on it, starting tomorrow.

	2008.05.22  11.11 I'm at work and I'm supposed to be...working? Whatev. I have two weeks to order desk copies of books for Dr. Conradsen, and I don't feel like doing it now. I'm glad I'm not in her Health Psych class because she is requiring students to buy 7 books. Fuck that. College student = broke. 7 books to buy = bad. I've been working 8 hours a day every weekday since last Monday; it's kind of weird. But I am fond of my job in general. All my roommates are in. Brittany and Audrey are kind of awesome. Whitney is so quiet, that I can't read her at all. I think I offended her the other night, but she's the kind of person who doesn't say anything. Kylie/Sloth/Quasimoto/Turtle (because she's awkward like the awkward turtle) is weird. She is the most socially awkward person I have ever met. She creeps me out. And her fiance has been in the townhouse since she moved in, spending the night and all. His voice is higher than any of the girls' who live in the townhouse. Word on the street is that he is soon to be transgendered. I don't know if this is true, but he does like to wear Turtle's skirts. Anywaaaay, the last is my actual roommate, Annie. She's sweet but all she does is drink, and there have been 4 days of class, and she has already missed 2 days. She's on academic probation already, so I may not have a roommate Block B. I'm generally enjoying the townhouse, but it's not the same without the girls. I miss everybody. And Caitlin wins because she's the only person who I've talked to, even if I have tried to talk to Erin, Caitlin (Cinnamon), and Amy. Caitlin, I love you and all that. We shall chillax when weekend comes. I watched Videodrome a couple of nights ago. I hadn't realized that Deborah Harry was such a freak. Kinda made me smile. Haha. Taryn visited and we watched The Others. I'd never seen it, and I really don't think I missed much not watching it. It was like Sixth Sense, but not good. Oh well. Now I may be blasting rap music in the office and Glenda and I may be dancing. Well, I suppose I should get on with my work. Yup.

	2008.05.13  23.55 Summer has started and here I am, laying around in my dorm. I started full-time work on Monday, and it was uneventful. Then I came back to my empty townhouse! It's very weird. That night Libby and I got our drink on and watched Dexter and I definitely woke up an hour late for work. I hopped in the shower and when I walked out of the bathroom wrapped up in a towel, I heard someone inside my townhouse... Yeah, it was one of my new roommates trying to open Caitlin's door. I almost had a heart attack, haha. But oh well. I awkwardly apologized for being naked and then showed her the trick to unlocking that door. Tonight I got the Chik-fil-A Berry deal with Heather and I was driven back to the townhouse, where all I did was clean. Caitlin, I assume you will read this, so I am going to say that it really makes me a little sad inside that none of the three of you cleaned up that bathroom. Bleh. Because I definitely cleaned it today, and I had to hanger the fucking sink because the stopper looked like a small swamp-dwelling creature. I also scrubbed down the entire kitchen, including the inside of the fridge. Now my house smells like that stuff you bottle animals for dysecting in. For some reason, nasty bathroom plus obscene amounts of clorox smells like dead pickled animal. Not pleasant. Even though I now have a suitemate, I still feel like no one is here. I've really only seen her when she first came in and when I told her she had to use my bathroom until I cleaned the other one. So now here I am, typing on this instead of hanging out with someone or some such thing. I don't know what I will do when Heather and Libby peace the fuck outta here. I shall be lonely. Caitlin, I wouldn't guilt trip you into hanging out with me. I'm too awesome for you to not want to hang out with me. Just saying. Seriously though, if I wasn't a slave to this school, I would keep you company. You should just come back. Kick Brittany out of your room, and live here again. Duh.

	2008.05.04  02.03 Today has been different. Heather and I left to see Emma off to prom today and we decided to drive around mountain campus for a few cigarettes. From there we decided to hike up the tallest mountain on campus to the House of Dreams. It took us an hour and a half, which really isn't that long at all, of intense, super steep, hiking. I almost died, haha. It was absolutely gorgeous up there. It seemed like we were in the countryside and not on top of a mountain. Our only real hint was that we could see everywhere in every direction, well into Alabama and Tennessee, I would guess. Then we got dinner with Caitlin, Casey, and his friends. From there Heather and I just chillaxed until Rob showed up, and we watched The Devil's Rejects. I also realized why I love Otis so much. He looks and talks just like the only person I've really been into in years, that damn boy who won't entirely leave my thoughts because I was too much of a pussy to make a move. Oh well, that was the past. And now I have Otis to remind me of him, haha. I am so physically exhausted, and I can tell already that my legs are gonna be sore as hell tomorrow. I need to soak in a bath or some shit to relax my muscles. I need to do that more often if I'm going to run up the steepest parts.

	2008.05.02  00.51 I'm procrastinating from studying for my research methods and statistics final. It's at 10:30 tomorrow. Bleh. But I do have the 2nd best grade in the class, so I'm not as worried about this as I should be. I've sent messages to all of my future roommates and such. I truly do fear that this is not going to end well. Only one of the girls seems to share the same interests and beliefs. My roommate is a hyper conservative and a bible-thumping Christian. It could end up just like when I lived with Alli; we got along fine as long as we did not talk politics, social issues, or how much of a heathen I am for drinking and smoking. I apologize if I think it is okay to be Christian and drink. Eh. I just would rather not have the tense moments that I shared with Alli. Last night was the first night I had really slept in days. I had slept only 6 hours of the 96 hours before last night. I love sleep, so much. I have research methods and statistics and a paper due tomorrow. I've got a paper due for Life-span due Monday, a paper for English due Tuesday, and a Film final on Tuesday. I'm actually worried about the film final; it may make me bend over and take it. :-/ We'll see how it goes.

	2008.04.29  19.54 I'm doing my best to not write my 3 papers right now. Haha. I just got my housing assignment for the summer. Although I was told I probably would not have a roommate, I will have one. I will be living in the townhouse with 5 other girls, none of whom I have met. Eeee. I'm nervous. And I don't mean to be hateful, but it's kind of hard not to be occasionally, but I just lurked them all on facebook, and one of the girls totally looks like Sloth from Goonies. My actual roommate has Bible verses all over her facebook and it says she is conservative. But her user-pic is of her kissing a beer can. I wonder what she will be like. It'll be weird to live in here without all of my current roommates. Could be interesting. I suppose I'll see.

	2008.04.27  02.28 I suppose I could make an actual post. Things are a little hectic right now. My first final is this coming Friday, and actually I'm not too worried. My problem is with the 5 papers I have due in the next week and a half. Ahhh. Other than that things have been good. I'm officially going to be at school all summer long, working and then taking a class second block. No word yet on where I will be able to live, fingers crossed for being able to live in the townhouse I'm in now. It would be really nice if I didn't have to move my stuff out, wait a week to move it into another townhouse, move out of that at the end of the summer, and then move back into my townhouse fall semester. There isn't any drama going on, which is a relief. I know it's usually never my drama, but it is still obnoxious. I'm still getting along with my roommates, all 4 of them (even though Katie is psycho). I'm excited about my classes next semester. I'm taking a lot of psych classes, abnormal, psych of women, and counseling theory. I'm also taking animal science and world lit. I may or may not being taking choir again, and I may or may not be going to Scotland/England next winter break on a choir tour. If I do get to go on the tour, I would get to sing in Christ Church. Christ Church is the location for the great hall in the Harry Potter movies, so I would get to sing in Hogwarts. Ahahaha. I'm such a nerd for being excited about that. I still haven't been into anybody since Josh, 2 years ago. But I did find out tonight that I was almost asked to formal by my friend Sara. :-/ Thankfully, I wasn't faced with that and have to tactfully turn it down. Tonight I hung out with Heather, Emma, and Rob and we met a Winshaper who made fun of the hyperchristians at Berry, very strange. Then we came back to the townhouse and watched the first hour of A History of Violence. Gah, I love that movie so much. Speaking of movies, I've been watching a lot recently. I finally saw the original Dracula. I also saw the original Funny Games, which is awesome. Still haven't seen the new one, but I know already that I'll love it. Finally got to knock Re-Animator off of my list of movies I needed to see, and it was absolutely hysterical. Cannibal Holocaust broke my heart much more than Cannibal Ferox. I am certainly no PETA supporter, but the animal slaughtering really is truly unnecessary. That turtle scene, not okay. But I did find it nice to know that the director admitted that he regretted killing all those animals on screen more than anything else. Other than that, I thought Cannibal Holocaust was a good movie. The whole message about how the media portrays violence was admirable. I do think I'm going to stay away from highly banned films for a little bit though. Sometimes those are just too much. Those poor monkeys... I guess mostly I have been just overwhelmed by school stuff. Friday I had a nice break, we had a psychology major cookout, and we rented sumo-wrestling outfits and the mats. That was fun, at least until Jen got concussed. Only three more days of classes. Blah. I can do it. Mood: content

	2008.04.25  05.24 It has been a long time, and I just want to say very few things. My computer's autosave function is the best thing in the world. My computer crashed half-way through a paper, and I hadn't saved anything yet. I turned my computer on again, and it had recovered all but like one paragraph. What would I do without you autosave? Other than that, I'm swamped with more papers than I have ever had. Woo. Mood: relieved

	2008.02.15  00.07 Valentine's Day is officially done with. I had a good one. Erin and I woke up at 5:30 to go to the airport and pick up Amy's boyfriend to surprise Amy with him. Making her happy gave me this awesome feeling and lack of sleep couldn't put a damper on that. I worked for a few hours then Caitlin and Elysia came over. All the girls without boys went over to Heather's for pizza and to watch Factory Girl It was really good, but really sad. It happens though. In other news, it's cold as balls outside, and I don't really appreciate it. It was 70 two days ago; it was 16 this morning when Erin and I left. Not okay. So there is this movie coming out in April called Funny Games and I CAN'T FUCKIN WAIT. It looks pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. I shall leave you with the trailer.

	2008.02.06  00.30 Aaaaaaaand it's my birthday. I'm so not in the mood to type a paper. :-/ Haha. But yeah. I'm no longer a teenager, I win? Yes. This calls for a fridge (mine) full of alcohol, get on it people. Just sayin. Edit: I went into my room just a minute ago and found a balloon on my bed with birthday wishes on it from my roommates. I'm gonna type them up here so that when they deflate, I will still know what was said. Feel free to read it, but this is really for me. hahaha. ( You say it's your birthday... )

	2008.01.13  03.52 I went to see P.S. I Love You tonight with Caitlin, and it was really cute. We stood next to Chipper Jones and his wife for 10 minutes in the line for candy. My dad is sad that I didn't ask to take a picture with him, but I didn't feel like bothering him and his wife. Oh well. After the movie Caitlin and I hung out outside of AMC with Eric O., who we hadn't seen since I guess around graduation. We were all joking around and he said something about opposites attracting, and then said something to the effect of "if that was true, shouldn't you be with some hot guy?" He was kidding, like he always used to, and I laughed with him, but really? Who says that to a girl? It probably didn't help that he kept making jokes about how I am single...still, and how I should just become a nun or a lesbian already. Ha? It gets old quick. I'm out of cigarettes but I want one. Boooo. I guess I'll just go to sleep.